peetasfakeleg: some guy added me on facebook and when i accepted he sent me a message saying “who r u”
i hate when applications are like “why do you want to work here” because i need money what do you want me to say omfg I HAVE A PASSION FOR FROZEN YOGURT
centrlperk: So I took a picture of my dog then I turned it upside down and all of a sudden wish I didn’t
staff: howellester: do you ever just wonder what the tumblr workers think of us we think you’re all a bunch of idiots
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
If I was a student at Hogwarts I’d use Howlers to send nice messages to people. So you’d be sitting there in the Great Hall eating breakfast when an owl drops a Howler in front of you. You, and everyone else on your table, just stares at it as it trembles, explodes open, shrieks I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SWEET BUTT and then dissolves into flames.
Me: time to go out
The universe: no
Public humiliation done right. →
iamhazleweatherfield: Took my little sister toy shopping today. After much browsing, she chose a pack of Hot Wheels cars. She wanted to pay so I gave her the money. As we were waiting in line, some dude waiting behind us asks: “Buying those for your brother?” My sister gives him a weird look, “No. They’re mine.” “You sure you want those, sweetheart? Those are for boys.” He says. Before I can...
so one of the Olympic athletes for running is...
Dad: Look, Mahboob's up front.
Me: ...Oh my god.
Dad: Watch out for Mahboob!
Dad: What if he had a twin.
Me: omg stop
Dad: Both Mahboobs are holding out steady in the lead.
Me: Dad no
Me: ...Mahboob had to get checked at the hospital.
Dad: Mahboob's been feeling really sore lately.
Me: oh god stop
Dad: Mahboob is getting squished out there!
Dad: Don't touch Mahboob!
Me: Yeah, Mahboob is very sensitive.
Dad: It makes Mahboob sad.
Me: can't breathe
Dad: Mahboob can't breathe either.
Dad: Oh no that guy elbowed Mahboob!
Dad: Yeah, I'm a grown man.
Me: So is Mahboob.
Shipping to the US: Free
Shipping to Australia: $500 plus your soul
theepichumor: what the f*ck is “”“young money”“”