August 2012
peetasfakeleg:
some guy added me on facebook
and when i accepted
he sent me a message saying “who r u”
i hate when applications are like “why do you want to work here”
because i need money
what do you want me to say omfg
I HAVE A PASSION FOR FROZEN YOGURT
centrlperk:
So I took a picture of my dog
then I turned it upside down
and all of a sudden wish I didn’t
staff:
howellester:
do you ever just wonder what the tumblr workers think of us
we think you’re all a bunch of idiots
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
If I was a student at Hogwarts I’d use Howlers to send nice messages to people.
So you’d be sitting there in the Great Hall eating breakfast when an owl drops a Howler in front of you. You, and everyone else on your table, just stares at it as it trembles, explodes open, shrieks I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SWEET BUTT and then dissolves into flames.
Me: time to go out
Hair: no
Face: no
Body: no
Clothes: no
Jesus: no
Mirror: no
Earth: no
The universe: no
Satan: no
Public humiliation done right. →
iamhazleweatherfield:
Took my little sister toy shopping today. After much browsing, she chose a pack of Hot Wheels cars. She wanted to pay so I gave her the money. As we were waiting in line, some dude waiting behind us asks:
“Buying those for your brother?”
My sister gives him a weird look, “No. They’re mine.”
“You sure you want those, sweetheart? Those are for boys.” He says.
Before I can...
so one of the Olympic athletes for running is...
Dad: Look, Mahboob's up front.
Me: ...Oh my god.
Dad: Watch out for Mahboob!
Dad: What if he had a twin.
Me: omg stop
Dad: Both Mahboobs are holding out steady in the lead.
Me: Dad no
Me: ...Mahboob had to get checked at the hospital.
Dad: Mahboob's been feeling really sore lately.
Me: oh god stop
Dad: Mahboob is getting squished out there!
Dad: Don't touch Mahboob!
Me: Yeah, Mahboob is very sensitive.
Dad: It makes Mahboob sad.
Me: can't breathe
Dad: Mahboob can't breathe either.
Dad: Oh no that guy elbowed Mahboob!
Dad:
Dad:
Dad:
Dad:
Dad:
Dad:
Dad: Yeah, I'm a grown man.
Me: So is Mahboob.
Shipping to the US: Free
Shipping to Australia: $500 plus your soul
theepichumor:
what the f*ck is “”“young money”“”
